We all want to feel as though we fit in, that we are part of the group. Sometimes we are not though, and that's ok. Lately, I've been feeling very much like an outsider in the blogging community; unfortunately, I can't write tweets about "exciting emails", trips to Peggy Porschen and that PR package from Charlotte Tilbury, that made me feel as though I didn't belong in the blogging community. I had to take a step back and remember why I actually started blogging and why it doesn't matter if I don't fit in with everyone else.

Everyone knows that I love writing, I enjoy spreading awareness about issues that are important to me and I am just a very creative person, in general. That's why I started my blog. I didn't start it to be disheartened by page views, to refresh my emails waiting for brands to reply or to compare myself to everyone else who also has the same interests as me. However, it's hard not to do that sometimes. We all know that social media is the epitome of seeing through rose tinted glasses but occasionally, we get caught up in that, this is not healthy but it also feels oh-so-uncontrollable. For me, I start to feel as though I'll never be as good as some of my blogger friends, I'll never have that perfect flatlay or reach 10k followers on Instagram for the desperately wanted swipe up option on Insta stories. 

I need to remember that there's nothing wrong with not fitting in. Hey, I've never fitted in in my life. I was that person throughout my whole school life who was just that little bit different and I had no problem with it then, in fact, I thrived on it, I used it to my advantage. It got me to where I am today, I think that if I was never that little bit different to everyone else, I never would have been inspired to start a blog. So, why does it get to me with blogging?

I guess it's because this is my career that I'm working towards. While my blog is something that I love doing and it never started as "relevant work experience" for my career, it now forms a very large part of my CV. It's what gets me the opportunities that I have; it gives me the chance to work with fantastic brands, write for companies and network as much as possible. Through my blog, I am doing things that I never thought that I would be doing at 19 years old and that makes me incredibly proud. Why do I keep comparing myself to everyone else?

I think it's human to compare ourselves, we always want to be the best at what we do, we always want to feel like we are part of the "in-group" but the truth is, I don't think I'll ever be part of this "in-group" and I'm ok with that. I know I'm not going to have that perfect photography in every post (no matter how much I try) or the ability to put an email newsletter out every week right now because did you read my life update? I am busy. I need to remind myself that this is ok and I don't need to pressure myself to be like my fellow bloggers.

It's quite a daunting thing stepping out and admitting that you're different because you no longer have this safety net of hiding behind everybody else. Blogging is supposed to be a creative outlet, a way to express our thoughts and opinions. We don't all need to be the same to succeed. I must learn how to thrive on my individuality again - the first step to doing this was including photos of myself in this post which is, as expecting, incredibly terrifying. I absolutely HATE using photos of me but this was one of my 2018 goals and well, I'm too much of a perfectionist to not succeed at my goals.