From exams to starting a new job, the past two months have been super hectic and I feel like my blog has been slightly neglected throughout it all, which I absolutely hate. However, the time off from my regular posting has lead to me creating so many content ideas for the next couple of months and I am so excited to start putting these together and sharing them. However, let's start with a bit of a life update...

justalittlebitoflauryn a life update


University 

I moved back to Exeter at the beginning of January for my exams and let's just say, it was interesting. I had 3 exams which were spread across a week so I had one every other day and they were examining my term one modules. Despite trying to do as much revision as I could over Christmas, the exams did not go well and I think I've come to terms with that now. It was our first time doing essay based exams at University and I think that the whole experience was quite overwhelming. It's weird because I did all essay based subjects pretty much at A Level and found those types of exams so much easier but it's like I've just forgotten how to write well academically in my second year of University. Anyway, I get the results back for my exams on the 11th of February so, we will see then. I'll try not to beat myself up about my grades too much but well, I have an annoying tendency to put too much pressure on myself.

My course modules are mostly 50% coursework and 50% exam, bar a couple of them and so, before Christmas, we had a few deadlines. In my first essay back in October, I received a 65 for an essay which I was happy with. Throughout first year, 65 seemed to be my average when it came to essays, with the odd first here and there but overall, I knew this wasn't a bad grade. Especially considering it was for a module that I wasn't too confident with. Then, this year we have two practical based modules, one in first term and one in the second. The first term one consisted of designing our own research study, conducting said research study, analyzing the results and then writing a report on our findings. The breakdown for marks of this module was 15% research proposal and 85% report. So, in the proposal, my group got 58 which I really was not happy with. I'd never received below a 2:1 in my time at University and it completely knocked my confidence. Therefore, when I then received 58 a few weeks later for another module essay, which was worth 50% of that module mark, I did doubt my future at University. This may sound a bit extreme to some as I'm not saying 58 is a bad grade but it just wasn't what I was used to and that made me really doubt myself. Honestly, I spent a few weeks from then considering dropping out of University and working full time but I think now I've decided to just try and stick it out because I put myself through so much to get to University, this is not the worst thing that has happened to me and I need to pull myself through it.

After the exams, I received an essay mark back that I submitted before Christmas and received a 68 in it. This made me feel slightly more confident because this was the type of mark I was used to getting and I didn't feel like such a failure after all. However, the stress wasn't over. My exams finished on the 12th of January and I had a 3000 word report due on the 21st. A report that I had pretty much barely started and was worth 85% of a module mark. So, as you can imagine, that week was full of stress and breakdowns. The relief I felt when I submitted the report was unbelievable.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and as I'm writing this, I had another research proposal due for a group practical in one week that we have not started and another deadline for another module exactly a week after that I have done very little for so far. It's been intense.

Work

Working 2 jobs as well as currently working on a client website means that I feel like I'm doing full time hours alongside my degree. It's tiring. However, I'm making it work. People say I take on too much and maybe I do but I'm proud that I've gained these opportunities for myself. So, I currently work for two digital marketing agencies in Exeter and I'm really enjoying my time with both of them so far. I'm already learning so many new things and I do feel as though my skills are developing, which is great. Anyone who has read my blog for a long time or knows me personally will know that I haven't had the best of luck in the past with jobs so to finally be working for companies that do not treat me as though I am insignificant and can be walked all over is great.

Personal life

Other than trying to keep up with University work and my job work, I haven't really been doing much. I've been trying to spend more time working on my Instagram photos, as well as desperately trying to get myself to take a break sometimes rather than working every minute from when I wake up to when I go to bed. This has been difficult and it's definitely a work in progress but I do feel as though I'm slowly training my mind to actually take a break which is great.

One way that I've been trying to take a break is by reading more. I received a Kindle for Christmas from my parents and thus, this has enabled me to read more. I set myself a Goodreads reading challenge of 50 books for 2019, which may be slightly unattainable but I'm going to try it anyway. I recently finished reading The Seven Deaths Of Evelyn Hardcastle which was really good and I would definitely recommend. Then, a couple of nights ago, I started reading The F Word by Lily Pebbles. While I can't comment on it fully as I'm only a fraction of the way through, I am not enjoying this book as much as I hoped due to it being seemingly written for a younger audience and so, I feel as though I can not relate to it as much. However, I will still finish it and share my thoughts after.

I've also been spending a lot of time preparing for when Josh and I move in together in the Summer. After nearly 6 years of being in a long distance relationship, it is crazy that in a few months, we will actually spend every day together and not have to live out of a suitcase for weeks on end during Summer and Christmas and seeing each other won't mean hours of travel crammed into one weekend. We have bought quite a few things in preparation and I'm really looking forward to sharing some home decor content in the upcoming months. Interior design has been one of my biggest passions for years but I've never really had the space to implement it so having our own place is definitely going to be a fun project for me to work on.

With regards to my mental health, the past couple of months have been hard due to all of the different stresses from different things in my life but I've been in darker places. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety as a result of my current living situations but that's a whole other story for a different blog post. Overall, I think I could be doing a lot worse.


What have you been up to lately? Let me know!